WHAT !!! You don't care ??? Well then - you are out of the will. Let someone else pay off my debts.

Anyway - The results are in on the cancer thing. Turns out I have an ulcerated basal cell carcinoma. That is funny - I am sure I have one of those in my car too.  I asked the doc what that means. He said that it would not kill me ( could I pay my bill right away?) but if I did not get it cut out I would become even uglier than I am now. So - taking courage in hand I said - "Cut away doc."

Well it turns out I have to go to a plastic surgeon who will cut a little chunk out my face. He assured me my eyes, nose, ears, and mouth would remain intact.

BUTT - then I got to thinking (a dangerous undertaking at best) that they usually cut skin from some other part of your body to repair the part they are fixing. That is where I draw the line. He is not going to cut out a piece of my ass to fix my face. The offending chunk is right beside my nose and I am not going to go through the rest of my life smelling my ass. I would rather be ugly ... okay ... uglier.

I don't care if the glass is half empty or half full ... if it is full of crap I don't want it served with my meal.

THERE ... that is out of the way :))

So you are probably asking yourself - "Why diamonds in the ruff?" .  I have no idea :) If you figure it out - let me know.

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