After years of careful, and sometimes intelligent, research, I have discovered the road that leads to a happier life and the perfect body.
 

 "No!" you say.    YES -  I have !!!
 

I have adopted little bits of what everyone has told me over the years and sprinkled on a bit of Internet wisdom (very sparingly) to come up with my new life plan.
 

Now - this plan is not for everyone. New born babies and those  who are not overly fat will probably not see the tremendous benefits this plan offers. BUTT - if you are a little (or a lot) chubby - you should partake of this offering.
 

I have followed the plan for a week now and have seen tremendous improvements already. My weight gain has dropped from 1 pound a month to an incredible 3 ounce gain each month.  AND - I have not implemented the full plan yet :))
 

"WHAT! - Impossible!" you say. 

I can back these claims up with authenticated scientific research. I have a pretty accurate bathroom scale and have recorded my weight every morning since starting the "PLAN". You are welcome to review the records at your leisure. Just send $5.00 and I will email you a copy - personally signed by our head researcher (me).
 

Now, you would expect to pay $1000.00 or $500.00 for this kind of plan.
 

But with my plan - you will not pay $1000, you will not pay $500.00, you will not pay $100.00 - unless of course you are really stupid ... which of course you are not :))
 

Just send me $99.99 and receive your personally autographed copy of this incredible plan.
 

"WOW!  What is your plan called?" you ask. Hmmm - good question. Let's call it "Late For Dinner".
 

I know we are continually bombarded by offers over the Internet. "Send me a million dollars and I will send some crappy advice I read about somewhere else on the Internet".  BUTT - if you go to Sears, do they say "Give us $3,000.00 and we will ship you a very nice sofa - sorry we do not have one here or a picture - but it is very nice."   Of course not!
 

   SO ...
 

I have included the whole plan below so you can decide for yourself if it is worth anything. However - you can not use this plan unless you send me money - or food (non fattening) - or a good woman.
 

The plan - "Late For Dinner"

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Start each day with one or two cups of warm water with lemon extract. This starts the purge cycle.
 

Do some stretching and cardio - make sure your heart wakes up or you will not see much benefit. The heart is like the locomotive of your existence ... the harder it chugs - the better it gets you where you want to go.  Now - this is not Internet crap. This is crap out of my own brain.
 

Have a fruit to supply the digestive system a bit of energy. Have as much fruit as you want - but no more than 3.
 

Have one cup of strong coffee around 11:00 am.   Make sure the toilette is not occupied.
 

You can now have as many cups of warm water with lemon extract as you want for the rest of the day - but not more then 4.
 

Have one glass of dry red wine between noon and 1:00pm.
 

Have your main meal around 3:00 to 4:00 pm. Eat whatever you want but keep the portions reasonable. I try to limit myself to two plates each sitting.
 

If you must snack  - do it all before 8:00 pm and try to keep it healthy - only one chocolate bar for example.
 

Look in the mirror - and admire the pretty scroll work around the edges.
 

    = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
 

You will have more energy - your system will love you - your friends will be amazed.
 

Have a good one folks :))
 

The Guru of Gut .... bk